Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Just a little humor

I just had to share an email I got this morning from none other than my mother-in-law.. This may offend some of you so be warned little ears.. but in my family this just sends us into rip-roaring laughter.. Hope you enjoy too!


DO YOU FART IN BED? IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FROM LAUGHING SO HARD, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU. THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE.THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TOSTOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT ANDTHAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL.SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR,SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAYHE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT. THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT.THEN ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHEWAS PR EPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNERAND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP,SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK,GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTSAND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHEREHER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND,GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK,SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWLOF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBANDWAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WASFOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAMAND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPSAS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM.THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELFAS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING,TEARS IN HER EYES!AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONEDSHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER,HER HUSBAND CAME DOWSTAIRS IN HISBLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH ALOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE.SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKEDHIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.''ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNEDME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?'ASKED HIS WIFE. 'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAYI WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT,AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.' BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS.I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.'

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the laugh. I love it! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I don't know if you looked further back in my posts, but those little boys are my grandkids and they were born at 27 weeks, 2 lbs 3 oz and 2 lbs 14 oz. They are my little miracles. Grandpa George is my father in law and he is now on Hospice, so I am glad I have several pictures with their Great Grandpa George. Carol

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